Jerry is the manager of a
restaurant in America.
He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When
someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were
any better, I would be twins!" Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit
their jobs when he changed jobs; they would follow him around from restaurant
to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry
... Read more »
Hodja and his son went on a journey once. Hodja preferred that his son
ride the donkey and that he himself go on foot. On the way they met some people
who said:
-Look at that healthy young boy! That is today's youth for you. They
have no respect for elders. He rides on the donkey and makes his poor father
walk!
When they had passed by these people the boy felt very ashamed and
insisted that he walk and his father ride the donkey. So Hodja mounted the
donkey and the boy walked at his side. A
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There once was a little girl who had a bad temper. Her mother gave her a
bag of nails and told her that every time she lost her temper, she must hammer
a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the girl had driven 37 nails
into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as she learned to control her anger,
the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. She discovered it
was easier to hol
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THE FOLLOWING
ARE ACTUAL INSTRUCTIONS ON VARIOUS PRODUCTS...
1 On a blanket
from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2 On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists- REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE
MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3 On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4 On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP
UPRIGHT.
5 On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6 In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING,
ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but
t
... Read more »
THE FOLLOWING
ARE ACTUAL INSTRUCTIONS ON VARIOUS PRODUCTS...
1 On a blanket
from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2 On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists- REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE
MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3 On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4 On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP
UPRIGHT.
5 On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6 In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING,
ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but
t
... Read more »
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
WORSE THAN A CLOWN
There was a young monk in China who was a
very serious practitioner of the Dharma.
Once, this monk came across something he did not understand, so he went to ask
the master. When the master heard the question, he kept laughing. The master
then stood up and walked away, still laughing.
The young monk was very disturbed by the master's reaction. For the next 3 days,
he could not eat, sleep nor think pr
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The major difference between a thing that might go
wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong,
is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns
out to be impossible to get at or repair. Douglas Adams
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody
discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inexplicable.
There is another theory which states t
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My son Gilbert was eight years old and had
been in Cub Scouts only a short time. During one of his meetings he was handed
a sheet of paper, a block of wood and four tires and told to return home and
give all to "dad".
That was not an easy task for Gilbert to do. Dad was not receptive to doing
things with his son. But Gilbert tried. Dad read the paper and scoffed at the
idea of making a pine wood derby car with his young, eager son. The block of
wood remained untouched as the weeks passed.
Finally, mom stepped in to see if I could figure this all out. The project
began. Having no carpentry skills, I decided it would be best if I simply read
the direction
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